「讲英语的视频笑话」英语笑话，视频

英语笑话，视频

天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐做看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较空闲，于是面带微笑的： 前台小姐：hello 老外：hi 前：you have what thing? 外：can you speak english? 前：if i not speak english,i am speaking what? 外：can annybody else speak engligh? 前：you yourself look,all people are playing,no people have time ,you can wait ,you wait, you can't wait ,yo go 外：oh ,my god.i want to see your head 前：shout what shout,head not zai,you speak to me is ok.

20篇短片英文小笑话（初一水平）

1 Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you. 麻烦没来找你，你就别自找麻烦。第一，四个trouble是动词，第二，三个trouble是名词。 2 I think that that that that that student wrote on the blackboard was wrong. 我认为那个学生写在黑板上的那个“that”是错误的。第一个that是连词，引起宾语从句；第二，五个that是指示代词“那个”；第三个that在这儿相当于名词；第四个that是关系代词，引起定语从句。 3 I know.You know.I know that you know.I know that you know that I know. 我知道。你知道。我知道你知道。我知道你知道我知道。 4 We must hang together,or we'llbe hanged separately. 我们必须团结在一起，否则我们将被一个个绞死。这是一句双关语。前面的“hang”是“团结一致”的意思，后面的“hanged”是“绞死”的意思。 5 The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog. 那只敏捷的棕色狐狸跳过了一只懒惰的狗。这个句子包含了英语中的26个字母 6 Was it a bar or a bat I saw？ 我看到的是酒吧还是蝙蝠？这是一句回文句，顺着读和倒着读是一样的。 7 上联：To China for china. China with china. dinner on china. 去中国买瓷器，中国有瓷器，吃饭靠瓷器。 下联：到前门买前门，前门没前门，后门有前门。 这是一副对仗工整，妙趣横生的英汉对联。下联中的第二，四，五个“前门”指“大前门”香烟 8 2B or not 2B,that a ? 这是一种文字简化游戏。它的意思是：To be or not to be, that is a question. 生存还是毁灭，那是一个问题。 He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 They are directly from America Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?" "Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday." "Well done. Who was that?" "My granny." "Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad." "Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!" 一个主日学校校(基督教教会为了向儿童灌输宗教思想, 在星期天开办的儿童班)的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？” “我，老师，”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过。” “做得好，是谁呢？” “我奶奶。” “好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。” “是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴 Life after death 死后重生 "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you. “你相信人能死后重生吗？”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦，那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。” Talking clock 会说话的钟 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" 一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”

求英语大神解读一下视频中的人到底在讲什么笑话

老师：“你一上课就不停地说话，你说说看，你还像不像个学生？” 学生：“不像。” 老师：“那你自己说，你像什么？” 学生：“像老师。” 真是个诚实的好孩子。

英语笑话视频带中文

士兵问连长：作战时踩到地雷咋办？连长大为恼火：靠，能咋办？踩坏了照价赔偿。 2、 很久没收到你的信息，俺很心疼。俺想到死，曾用薯片割过脉；用豆腐撞过头；用降落伞跳过楼；用面条上过吊。可都墨死成，你就请俺吃顿饭，撑死俺算了。 出息 3、 如果感到心里挖凉挖凉的，请拨打俺的电话！谈感情请按1，谈工作请按2，谈人生请按3，给俺介绍对象请按5，请俺吃饭请直说，找俺借钱请挂机。 4、 长颈鹿嫁给了猴子，一年后长颈鹿提出离婚：我再也不要过这种上蹿下跳的日子了！猴子大怒：离就离！谁见过r亲个嘴还得爬树的！ 5、 鱼说：“我时时刻刻把眼睁开是为了在你身边不舍离开。”水说：“我终日流淌不知疲倦是为了围绕你好好把你抱起。”锅说：“都他妈快熟了还这么倔。” 6、 吃饭了吗？请接收短信。大象把大便排在路中央，一只蚂蚁正好路过，它抬头望了望那云雾缭绕的顶峰，不禁唱到：呀啦索，这就是青藏高原！~~~~ 7、 你都长大了，有些事应该让你知道了：天，是用来刮风下雨的；地，是用来长花长草的；我，是用来证明人类是多伟大的；你是用来炖粉条的。 8、 在铁路旁大号却没带纸时，别着急，火车会提醒你：裤擦，裤擦，裤裤擦！在河边上大号却没带纸时，别着急，青蛙会告诉你：棍刮，棍刮，棍棍刮！ 9、 钱可以买房子但买不到家，能买到婚姻但买不到爱，可以买到钟表但买不到时间，钱不是一切，反而是痛苦的根源，把你的钱给我，让我一个人承担痛苦吧！ 10、 老天，太蓝！大海，太咸！人生，太难！工作，太烦！和你，有缘！想你，失眠！见你，太远！唉，这可让我怎么办？想你想得我吃不下筷子，咽不下碗！ 11、 送你12生肖，祝你聪明如鼠，强壮如牛，胆大如虎，可爱如兔，自信如龙，魅力如蛇，浪漫如马，温顺如羊，顽皮如猴，美丽如鸡，忠诚如狗，长得像猪！ 12、 学问之美，在于使人一头雾水；诗歌之美，在于煽动男女出轨；女人之美，在于蠢得 无怨无悔；男人之美，在于说谎说得白日见鬼。 13、 在乎你的我只在乎我在乎的是是否在乎在乎你的我，我在乎的你是否和在乎你的我在乎我在乎的你一样在乎在乎你的我，小样儿，看晕你！ 14、 听说过吗？前世的五百次回眸，才换得今生的一次擦肩，象你我这样亲密的朋友，上辈子似乎没干什么，光他妈回头了！ 15、 有两个造假钞的不小心造出面值15元的假钞，两人决定拿到偏远山区花掉，当他们拿一张15元买了1元的糖葫芦好，他们哭了，农民找了他们两张7块的。 16、 你的人生写照：十岁学会自己洗澡――猪自清；二十岁光彩照人――猪时茂；三十岁找到工作――猪立业；四十岁雇了佣人――猪得佣；五十岁学会打篮球――猪投！

急需一个带英文的笑话或故事的英语视频（易懂），最好是动画人物，短时间的。。。。。。

那就从《小屁孩日记》里选几个片段好了，去BBS看，有清晰字幕和画面。：）

求一个英文的笑话可以讲一分钟的要非常爆笑的那种。还要加上翻译，谢谢。

请采纳我的问题 　1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但竟没有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了？”“是啊！”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗？”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗？”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的！”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊！”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶， 翻了，一头栽在路旁。警察赶到：警察甲：好严重的车祸。警察乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙：好.....一、二使劲，转回来了。警察甲：嗯，没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了！司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车！只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊！我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久？” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么？十年？？十个月？？？十天？？？？？” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……”6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗？”学生：“能，他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“护士，打针的。”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀！都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快！”9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。 那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊？？”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准！！咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头！”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然，马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………” 我打了很久，请采纳 1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\" I played for a long time, please

中学英语笑话相声视频短片

台词我没法发给你，但你去优酷，搜一个名叫《三好学生》的相声，包您满意！两个大学生创作表演的，应该是山西某大学的。

英语小笑话小视频好孩子

、有一天，我对你说你是猪，你说：我是猪才怪。因而我便起头叫你猪才怪。终究有一天你不由得在世人眼前大声颁布发表：我不是猪才怪！

一个笑话有个兄弟一个叫将英语一个叫做讲国语

烟恋上了手指，手指却把香烟给了嘴唇，香烟亲吻着嘴唇，内心却给了肺，肺以为得到了香烟的真心，却不知伤害了自己！是手指的背叛成就了烟的多情，还是嘴唇的贪婪促成了肺的伤心？人生如烟，岁月无痕，烟自多情，却把自己烧的只剩下灰。

3分钟英语演讲，关于笑话的

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？ 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。" DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU? One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?" "No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim. 你爸爸帮你了吗？ 一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴 ，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都 做对了，怎么回事？你爸爸帮你做了吗？" "不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。" 英语幽默笑话 Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 圣诞节英语笑话 Peace and love for you at Christmas from all your students. 祝老师圣诞节充满平安和爱。 Wishing you a sparkling Christmas and bright happy New Year! May the season bring much pleasure to you. 愿你的圣诞光彩夺目，愿你的新年灿烂辉煌！佳节快乐！ Wishing you all the blessings of a beautiful Christmas season. 愿你拥有圣诞节所有美好的祝福。 Wishing you all the happiness of the holiday season. 祝节日幸福如意。 Hope all your Christmas dreams come true! 愿你所有的圣诞梦想都成真！ 英语短笑话 一：She Didn"t Say Anything A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。 “How do you know?” asked her father. “She didn"t sayanything.” 二：I Have Turned It Over A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?” The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?” 英语四级笑话 一妇女经常光顾一家古董店，但几乎从不买什么东西，却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵。对于那妇女的粗暴抱怨，经理和她的销售员总是应付了事，但是有一天她做得太过分了。“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我想要的东西？”那名妇女指责说。 职员脸上带着微笑，沉着地回答道：“也许是因为我们太有礼貌了。” A woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything, but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the woman's grumpy complaints in stride, but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?" demanded the woman. U %o= +Gc ]h:,.KMu<P A smile on her face, the clerk calmly replied, "Perhaps it's because we're too polite."