最简单的英语笑话，要求有国际音标的。
把你的凳子让给女士
小Johnny 说：妈妈，当我今天喝爸爸在公共汽车上时，他告诉我要我给一个女士让坐。
”是的，你做了正确的事情。“妈妈说
”但是我但是是坐在爸爸的大腿上的。“Johnny说
笑话的英文
joke
音标:英 [dʒəʊk]美 [dʒoʊk]
词典释义
joken.笑话，玩笑；笑柄，笑料
jestn.笑话，玩笑；戏谑，诙谐；笑柄
japev.开玩笑
数据来源：金山词霸
例句
1.他喜欢笑话。
He loves a joke.
《汉英大词典》
2.你听过那个关于爱尔兰人、英国人和美国人的笑话吗？
Have you heard the one about the Irishman, the Englishman and the American?
《柯林斯高阶英汉双解学习词典》
3.那只不过是句玩笑话。
That's only a joke.
《汉英大词典》
英语小笑话（带汉语，带音标）
the
fish
net
"can
you
tell
me
what
fish
net
is
made,
ann?"
"a
lot
of
little
holes
tied
together
with
strings."
replied
the
little
girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，嗯？"
老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。"
小女孩回答道。音标很难打
请给这个日语笑话标下音标
うちの父（ちち）は、强风（きょうふう）が吹（ふ）いたり雨（あめ）が降（ふ）ったりすると、空（そら）に向（む）かって、
「バカヤロー！ ろくなもんじゃねえな～」
と必ず（かならず）叫び（さけび）ます。台风（たいふう）がきたときなど、そりゃあもう、大騒ぎ（おおさわぎ）です
joke+笑话+不会音标+用中文怎么读?
就可
就克
就客
用英文短笑话要用上er音标
懂得生命真谛的人，可以使短促的生命延长。
英语笑话能发音的
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
dog的音标
dog的音标：英 [dɒɡ] 美 [dɔːɡ]n. 狗；家伙；卑鄙的人；没用的东西vt. （灾难等）缠住；跟踪词汇搭配：1、breed dogs 饲养狗2、train dogs 驯狗3、little dog 小狗4、police dog 警犬常见句型：1、His dog is very clever.他的狗甚为聪明。2、Though very fierce outwardly, the dog was well-tamed.这只狗虽然貌似凶猛,实际上是非常驯服的。3、The dog is excellent for hunting.这条狗用于打猎极好。4、The house is guarded by a fierce dog.这所房子由一条猛犬看守。
扩展资料：
部分动物的英语1、tiger英 ['taɪgə]美 ['taɪɡɚ]n. 老虎;各种猫科动物;凶恶的人，虎狼之徒[例句]The engine purred like a well-fed tiger.发动机像一头吃饱喝足的老虎一样发出咕隆声。2、giraffe英 [dʒɪˈrɑ:f]美 [dʒəˈræf; dʒəˈræf]n.长颈鹿[例句]Did you hear the joke about the giraffe with a sore throat?你听过那个长颈鹿嗓子疼的笑话吗？3、lion英 ['laɪən]美 ['laɪən]n. 狮子;名人;[天文学、占星术]狮子（星）座;勇士，名流[例句]What's the French for `lion'?法语中“狮子”怎么说？4、horse英 [hɔːs]美 [hɔrs]n. 马;骑马的军人，骑兵;有脚的架;跳马，鞍马vt. 为…备马;猛推或用力向上举[例句]an easy-going horse一匹步伐平稳的马。5、leopard英 ['lepəd]美 ['lɛpɚd]n. 豹;美洲豹，金钱豹，花豹[例句]A leopard hunts alone.豹子独自捕猎。
谁有英语的小笑话或小故事，简单一点的，附中文，音标。
When I was a child,
当我还是孩童，
Storybooks were true.
故事书都如此真实。
And everything I saw and felt,
我看到.感觉到的每事每物，
Was wonderful and new.
都美好而新奇。
When I was a child,
当我还是孩童，
I'd talk with all my toys.
我会与我所有的玩具交谈。
And live in worlds of make-believe,
生活在幻想的世界中，
Like other girls and boys.
就像其他女孩和男孩。
When I was a child,
当我还是孩童，
Dinosaurs weren't dead.
恐龙都没有灭亡。
But were very much alive.
它们栩栩如生，
They lived inside my head.
生活在我的脑海中。
When I was a chile,
当我还是孩童，
The full moon was a face,
满月就是一张脸，
Smiling down upon the world,
在遥远的太空中，
From far away in space.
对这世界微笑。
When I was a child,
当我还是孩童，
The new moon was a ship,
新月就像一条船，
Slowly Sailing in the sky,
慢慢地在太空中遨游，
Upon its monthly trip.
进行她每月一次的旅程。
When I was a child,
当我还是孩童，
I'd journey to the stars,
我愿意前往星星，
Imagining what life was like,
就像木星和火星一样，
On Jupiter and Mars.
生活是哪般模样。
When I was a child,
当我还是孩童，
My mind was fresh and free;
我的头脑清新又自由，
And I know it can be again,
我知道在诗歌的世界里，
In the world of poetry.
一切又可以重新来过。
请问在英语中，笑话到底有多少种拼法？广东人香港人把笑话说成和GET相似的发音用的是哪一个单词？
那个其实是GAG,GAG有笑话的意思
还有例如韩国说的GAGMAN，搞笑艺人之类的
你可以自己百度下，她肯定比我说的要清楚多了
