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「爆笑笑话(英语)」简单爆笑的英文小笑话(要翻译的)

作者:东东笑话网2021-03-15 05:21类型:爆笑男女笑话 已有85人围观 点击提交给百度收录

简单爆笑的英文小笑话(要翻译的)

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,  and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!” “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。 “没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?” “我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。” The poor husband "You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. 可怜的丈夫 “你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿? 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?” 哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。” Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?" 狗也知道这个谚语吗? 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 “没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?" 能让我们的老师回去吗? 有一次,一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹,因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人,把他带进另一间教室,并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后,一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来,问道,“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢?” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 谁更有礼貌? 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。 三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。 母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀? 牙科医生:是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了 A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道. One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。 One day an old lady went to see her doctor, the doctor ask "how old are you?" The old lady think for a while and she said" when i was marry i was 18 and my husband is thirty Five. Now my husband is seventy years old it is twice of thirty five, so i am 36 years old."... 一天一位老太太去看医生,医生问:“女士,您多大岁数了?”然后老太太想了一会说:“我结婚那年我18岁,我老公35岁,现在他70岁了,是35的两倍,所以我应该是36岁”。。。。。。。。。。 TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。" Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today. Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night. 医生:听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。 病人:应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。

非常搞笑的英语笑话(带翻译)

英语笑话大全 爆笑

1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?" 2.The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?

英语幽默笑话大全

The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。 I think that I'm a chicken Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! 精神病医师:你哪里不舒服? 病人:我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的? 病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 Who Is the Laziest? Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father. 中文: 父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒? 汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。 父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课? 汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" 译文: 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子:“为什么?” 约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

急求一个爆笑的英语笑话

英语笑话 1 A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!一个小男孩问他的爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?爸爸说:我不知道,因为我仍然在付帐。 2 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?" "Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday." "Well done. Who was that?" "My granny." "Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad." "Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!" 一个主日学校校(基督教教会为了向儿童灌输宗教思想, 在星期天开办的儿童班)的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在,孩子们,”她说:“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?” “我,老师,”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。” “做得好,是谁呢?” “我奶奶。” “好孩子。现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。” “是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴! 3 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman." "Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?" "They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once. "Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.". 迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。 孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说:“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块。不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。” 迪克问:“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?” 他姨妈马上回答说:“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。” 迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说:“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。” 4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold them! 斯丹:我赢了 92 条金鱼。 弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们? 斯丹:浴室。 弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办? 斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛! 5 George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ” “ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ” “ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ” 乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时,他问:“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗? ” “ 不行, ” 那位妈妈说, “ 天气太冷了。 ” “ 噢,那么, ” 乔冶, “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗? 出国必备英文日常用语 ▲Potluck Party 一种聚餐方式,主人准备场地和餐具,叁加的人必须带一道菜准备饮料,最好事先问问主人的意思。 ▲Pull over!把车子开到旁边。 ▲Drop me a line!写封信给我。 ▲Give me a ring. = Call me!来个电话吧! ▲For here or to go?食堂或外卖。 ▲cool; Thats cool! 等于国内年轻人常用的囗语“酷!”,表示不赖嘛!用于人或事均可。 ▲Whats up? = Whats happening? = Whats new? 见面时随囗问候的话“最近在忙什么?有什么新鲜事吗?”一般的回答是“Nothing much!” 或“Nothing new!” ▲Cut it out! = Knock it out!= Stop it! 少来这一套!同学之间开玩笑的话。 ▲Dont give me a hard time! 别跟我过不去好不好! ▲Get yourself together! 振作点行不行! ▲Do you have the time? 现在几点钟?可别误以为人家要约你出去。 ▲Hang in there. = Dont give up. = Keep trying. 再撑一下。 ▲Give me a break ! 你饶了我吧!(开玩笑的话)

求简单爆笑的英文笑话,带翻译!

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!” “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。 “没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?” “我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。” The poor husband "You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. 可怜的丈夫 “你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿? 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?” 哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。” Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?" 狗也知道这个谚语吗? 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 “没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?" 能让我们的老师回去吗? 有一次,一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹,因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人,把他带进另一间教室,并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后,一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来,问道,“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢?” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 谁更有礼貌? 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。 三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。 母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀? 牙科医生:是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了 A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道. One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。

最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

内容来自用户:三一作文 *篇一:爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话(一)老师在黑板上写了一句:Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说:MayIgotothetoilet?老师说:Goahead.小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:MayIgotothetoilet?老师说:Goahead.小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!英语笑话(二)某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:Iamhongtaoliu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!英语笑话(三)江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"MissJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where?Where?"外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere,everywhere."翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:"Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee."英语笑话(四)话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。

急求顶级爆笑的笑话,英文也要(带翻译)...

1、昨天梦见上帝说可满足我一个愿望我拿出地球仪说要世界和平,他说太难换一个吧,我拿出你的照片说要这人变漂亮,他沉思了一下说拿地球仪我再看看。1, yesterday said that the dream of God can satisfy my desire I take out tellurion to world peace, he says to change too hard, I take your picture to this person to become beautiful, he brooded say take tellurion I'll have a look. 2、一女奇丑,嫁不出去,希望被拐卖。终于梦想成真,却半月卖不出去。绑匪将其送回,她坚决不下车,绑匪咬牙一跺脚:走,车不要了2, an ugly woman, marry do not go out, hope to be kidnapped and sell. Finally a dream come true, but half a month cannot sell. Kidnapper remands his, she determined not to get off, a stomping kidnappers teeth: go, the car did not want

英文短笑话

1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。Teacher: who just threw that?!老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩:我!我现在要回家了。2、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?A needle.针。5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子:那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫:开个玩笑!6、Boy: Is this seat empty?男孩:这个座位是空的么?Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 7、My little dog can't read 我的狗不识字Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 8、My Wife Will Exchange Them反正我太太明天会来换的A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。″Makes no difference ″replied customer.“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。″Any″ he responded.“什么颜色都成。”他回答。″Size﹖″“号码呢?”″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ “您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”

急需:英语小笑话,简单短小,而且超级爆笑!谢了。

1.Is it a boy or a girl A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother. 翻译:是男孩还是女孩? A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩? B:是个女孩。她是我的女儿。 A:哦,对不起,先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。 B:我不是。我是她的妈妈。 2.Pretty ugly Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter? Peter: I think you're pretty ugly.. 翻译:非常丑陋的 玛丽:约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样,彼得? 彼得:我觉得你很丑。 3.Silent fart A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem. "Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?" The doctor replies: "The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing." 翻译:沉默的屁:沉默的屁 一个人走进医生的办公室,遇到了一个严重的问题。 “医生,我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里,工作,甚至在教堂,我放出无数的无声屁,无论我走到哪里!事实上,我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办?” 医生回答说: “我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。” 3.Pay tax with a smile A: I hate paying my income tax. B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? A: I'd like to but they insist on money! 翻译:A:我讨厌付所得税。 B:你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢? A:我很愿意,但是他们坚持要钱! 4.Take his place An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place." Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker." 翻译:代替他:取代他的位置 午夜过后,一位律师打电话给州长,坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。 “那么,这是什么呢?”州长抱怨道。 “Garber法官刚刚去世,”律师说,“我想接替他的位置。” 州长回答说:“好吧,如果殡仪馆还好的话,我就可以了。” 5.I'm Sick One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital. Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you. Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick. 翻译:我生病了 一天,哈米德感到很不舒服,他去了医院。 护士:哈米德,医生来见你。 哈米德:告诉他,我看不见他。我病了。 向姑姑道歉 爸爸:“儿子,你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻?”去跟她说声对不起。” 儿子:(走到姨妈跟前)“阿姨,对不起你是个笨蛋。” 6.Say sorry to aunt Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her." Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid." 6.Undying love Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes, dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, mine is undying love. 翻译:永恒的爱:永恒的爱 女孩:你爱我吗? 男孩:是的,亲爱的。 女孩:你愿意为我而死吗? 男孩:不,我的爱是永恒的 扩展资料: look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受 young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年 short hair短头发 blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子,牛仔裤 do you你愿意吗 fart<讳>放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人 walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走,步行,散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行 'vehave 的缩略形式 At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通 and even乃至
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