十万个冷笑话 表情
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1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说:“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她:“你是否怀孕了?”“是啊!”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁。警察赶到:警察甲:好严重的车祸。警察乙:是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲:嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙:好.....一、二使劲,转回来了。警察甲:嗯,没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了:“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说:“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人:“求您告诉我我还能活多久?” 医生:“十……” 病人着急地问:“十什么?十年??十个月???十天?????” 医生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”6、老师:“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?”学生:“能,他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说:“护士,打针的。”蜣一拍大腿:“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼:“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!”9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着:“Go ahead”。 那人想:“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问:“你在做什啊??”他说:“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了:“咱们老总根本就没批准!!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说:“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然,马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气:“感谢上帝………”
我打了很久,请采纳
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please
求十万个冷笑话表情包
古玩店里,一位顾客问:“这支左轮手枪是哪个年代的?”店主:“它是古罗马帝国时代的。”顾客:“没听说过古罗马人使用过左轮手枪呀。”店主:“连听都没听说过,它岂不更是稀世之宝了。”
哪吒十万个冷笑话图片gif
1、为彻底解决行人车辆多,交通拥堵情况,也切实减少空气污染对人民的伤害,我建议身份证单双号限号上班。2、有人说,觉得iPhone6太丑了,不想买,想法怎么和我这么像?!我还觉得保时捷车型太丑了,上海房子不好看,最重要的
十万个冷笑话的图片
里面有十万个冷笑话的漫画
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求十万个冷笑话蛇精和李狗蛋的高清大图
现在还没画完呢,百度知道不能贴地址,你自己去百度搜“十万个冷笑话 有妖气”第一个就是
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十万个冷笑话
十万个冷笑话是什么动画
十万个冷笑话》是根据漫画家寒舞的作品改编的动画,由卢恒宇,李姝洁导演。动画第一季于2012年7月11日播出,共12集,已完结,第二季于2013年12月31日开播。 该动画由一系列吐槽短篇组成,短篇之间看似没关系,但关系又非常微妙,语言也十分符合网民需求,被誉为“中国版的日和”。已连载的篇章有葫芦娃篇、世界末日篇、哪吒篇、光之国篇,以及一系列杂篇有见鬼篇、亚基篇、柯哔篇等
求几张《十万个冷笑话》里小金刚的图片。
十万个冷笑话的作者寒舞长什么样子,求图
我的观点和楼上的差不多 但是有一点不一样。在最新一集的片里,一开始,作者是以妹纸的形象出现的,但是在上班时给自己头上插了一把刀,就变成了一个男人。接着整整一天都一男人的面目努力工作着,回到家就是画漫画,一直到晚上半夜2点还没睡。经过一连串的梦境后,最后的几秒钟是一个妹纸的脸。于是我大胆猜测,作者是个女汉纸,上班时拿出汉纸的精力,只有睡觉做梦时才恢复了女人的样子。你没看那些梦境吗,都是和男人睡的,而最后又显示这是个梦,由此我又推断,作者尚且单身。也就是说,作者的年龄或许和我们差不多,很有可能是88~93年出生的,年龄不大。最后就是看她的笔名是寒舞,倒过来是舞寒,和这读音差不多的就是武汉了。当然,最后这个可能是我纯属猜测。
十万个冷笑话原作寒舞好看不有图片不?
关于寒舞性别的疑问出处是动画版第二集,匹诺曹的原台词是:“寒舞根本不是一个漂亮的妹子!”说完这句话他的鼻子就变长了,由此可见这句话必然是谎话,那么寒武就是个妹子