「签证笑话」关于签证的几个段子长见识

能给我一些笑话吗?

http://www.haha365.com/ 笑死人不偿命哦~~~呵呵

急需：英语小笑话，简单短小，而且超级爆笑！谢了。

1.Is it a boy or a girl A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother. 翻译：是男孩还是女孩？ A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩？ B：是个女孩。她是我的女儿。 A:哦，对不起，先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。 B：我不是。我是她的妈妈。 2.Pretty ugly Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter? Peter: I think you're pretty ugly.. 翻译：非常丑陋的 玛丽：约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样，彼得？ 彼得：我觉得你很丑。 3.Silent fart A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem. "Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?" The doctor replies: "The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing." 翻译：沉默的屁：沉默的屁 一个人走进医生的办公室，遇到了一个严重的问题。 “医生，我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里，工作，甚至在教堂，我放出无数的无声屁，无论我走到哪里！事实上，我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办？” 医生回答说： “我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。” 3.Pay tax with a smile A: I hate paying my income tax. B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? A: I'd like to but they insist on money! 翻译：A:我讨厌付所得税。 B：你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢？ A:我很愿意，但是他们坚持要钱！ 4.Take his place An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place." Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker." 翻译：代替他：取代他的位置 午夜过后，一位律师打电话给州长，坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。 “那么，这是什么呢？”州长抱怨道。 “Garber法官刚刚去世，”律师说，“我想接替他的位置。” 州长回答说：“好吧，如果殡仪馆还好的话，我就可以了。” 5.I'm Sick One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital. Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you. Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick. 翻译：我生病了 一天，哈米德感到很不舒服，他去了医院。 护士：哈米德，医生来见你。 哈米德：告诉他，我看不见他。我病了。 向姑姑道歉 爸爸：“儿子，你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻？”去跟她说声对不起。” 儿子：（走到姨妈跟前）“阿姨，对不起你是个笨蛋。” 6.Say sorry to aunt Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her." Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid." 6.Undying love Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes, dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, mine is undying love. 翻译：永恒的爱：永恒的爱 女孩：你爱我吗？ 男孩：是的，亲爱的。 女孩：你愿意为我而死吗？ 男孩：不，我的爱是永恒的 扩展资料： look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受 young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年 short hair短头发 blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子，牛仔裤 do you你愿意吗 fart<讳>放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人 walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走，步行，散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行 'vehave 的缩略形式 At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通 and even乃至

有没有关于定语从句的笑话？

不知道你要的是不是含定语从句的幽默短句?下面的这些句子都很有趣,但只有第九句含定语从句, SORRY! I 've tried my best. 幽默的英语句子 1) Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。 2) One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。 4)Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。 5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个女人。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。 7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。 8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。 9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈） 11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。 12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. " 现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。 13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。 14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " "努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明。 15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " "工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。 16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。 17)When two‘s company, three‘s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！ 18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。 19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？