「英文搞笑话剧剧本」搞笑英语话剧剧本

搞笑英语话剧剧本

搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》 演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿 旁白 道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠 旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow . Birds are dancing in the cold . A man is walking along the street ,step by step . Wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches . Y与X相遇． X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you ! Y:, Never mind baby. X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name? Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you? X:Iamximenchuixue. Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts? X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date! Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go! X:No, I must kill you ! Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me! X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me! X:Pardon! (Y拿出一袋牛奶) X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that? Y:please drink it! X喝完牛奶:Thanks, Y:Do you still want to kill me ? X:Sure, must! Milk is milk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t! Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1! X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach ! Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit （一人路过，x起身跑过去） X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me . Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road! X:Thanks,byebye. Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼) Y:Who are you? H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue? Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” . H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world ! Y:You are right ! H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want. Y:Yes,It’s very good. H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king! 第二幕：无间道 H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng. K:sit down plese, yegucheng. Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you? King:yes,I will. Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ? K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha…… Y:of course. 美女出场 M:hello，帅锅.. K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual. H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich? Y: Yes,I do. K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停） X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine! K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you? Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me. X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something! Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me! X:Forgive you? Why ? Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year! X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶) X:milk?I love you. K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me ! X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K) K:Fuck you. I must kill you! X:How can you kill me? haha…… Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下) M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边） Y :do you want to go to wc? X:Yes,I……I…… do. Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards. M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away ! K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ? M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover? Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Xwill die. M扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning ! K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume ! M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume ! (M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起) Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停) （X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起） M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together . X:go home ! ? M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love. X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go. M I promise . I will never let go（X死） , M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance ! —来自于网络

英语话剧剧本 要搞笑的 急！！

搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》 演员表： 西门吹雪 叶孤城 花满楼 king 旁白 道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠 旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow . Birdsaredancinginthecold . Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep . Windiscominginsilence. Another mysteriousmanapproaches . Y与X相遇． X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou ! Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay. X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname? Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou? X:Iamximenchuixue. Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue? X:Yes,whatiswrong? Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts? X:Great, youknowme ! Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo! X:No, Imustkillyou ! Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme! X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme! X:Pardon! (Y拿出一袋牛奶) X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat? Y:pleasedrinkit! X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme? X:Sure, must! milkismilk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!? X:I’msureIwon’t! Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0! X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach ! Y大笑：HaHa…… X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom? Y:What ? X:Toliet? Y:What ? X:The “WC”? Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad! X:Thanks,byebye. Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow! H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation! Y:Whoareyou? H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue? Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha…… H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld! Y:Youareright! H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus? Y:Yes,It’sverygood. H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking! Y:Ok,Let’s go!

英语搞笑话剧剧本

今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思 老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？ 我说：“我不知道” 老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！ 我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！ 老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍) 老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。 我说：是“我知道“ 老妈：知道就快说。 我说：就是“我知道“ 老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？ 我说：就是我知道呀！ 老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍) 老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？ 我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧 　这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“ 我:“我很烦,别烦我“ 老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁) 老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“ 我说:“我没听清,再说一次“ 老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“ “我没听清,再说一次“ 结果被扁 老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“ 我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁) 老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’ 我说:“查字典“ “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁) 老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“ 我说:“你最好问别人“ “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“ “啊!god save me !“ “上帝救救我吧!” “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁) 我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“ 我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“ “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手 我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思” 打字不易，如满意，望采纳。

求一个搞笑英语话剧剧本（6人）

您好： 校园搞笑版话剧剧本： 地点：学校教室 人物：老师、学生 1、学生 2 背景：教室，上课时，学生与老师的对话与问答 情节： 扮老师的人上： 今天我们来复习古诗词中的名言名名， 我准备采用老师提问的方式开始 今天的学习。由我提问学生们，我说出诗的上句，同学们回答出下一句，好不好。 学生异口同声：好！ 老师：人生自古谁无死。 学生：人生自古谁无屎，有谁大便不用纸。 老师： （生气的）是那个学生，说出这样的不道德的话啊，给我站起来！ 学生： （站起来）是我） 老师： （很生气）你这样捣乱，这节课你给我站着上。我们必须完成这个任务，否则别 想过关。从来！ 师：人生自古谁无死。 学生：人生自古谁无屎，有谁大便不用纸。若君不用卫生纸，除非你用大拇指。 老师： （怒不可遏）谁啊，胡说八道啊！我再提问一句，你们来接下一句，如果回答正 确我就不惩罚你们。 （这时，老师看见窗外，想了下，想起冬天会下雪，就提问一句） 老师：上天下雪不下雨，雪到地上变成雨。变成雨时多麻烦，为何当初不下雨。 （小明站起来回答道) 小明：老师吃饭不吃屎，饭到肚里变成屎。变成屎时多麻烦，为何当初不吃屎。 (就这样老师当场就想惩罚小明！手发抖,脸还装着笑要羞怒小明.....) 老师：河水往哪里流啊？ 小明：大河向东流啊！ 老师：天上有多少颗星星阿？ 小明：天上的星星参北斗阿！ 老师：你给我滚出去！ 小明：说走咱就走阿！ (老师很无奈.....) 老师：你有病吧？ 小明：你有我有全都有阿！ 老师：你再唱一句试试！ 学生：路见不平一生吼阿！ 老师：你信不信我要扁你？ 学生：该出手时就出手阿！ (老师真的忍无可忍气的没有话说） 老师：我让你退学！ 学生：风风火火闯九洲阿！ (哈哈..... 全班学生都轰动起来，老师走出了教室 生：风风火火闯九洲阿！ (哈哈......全班学生都轰动起来，老师走出了教室......） 希望以上信息可以帮到您，也欢迎登陆中票在线官网查询你喜欢明星的演出资讯：http://www.chinaticket.com ：－D

急求一份英语超级搞笑话剧剧本 要搞笑

大话西游（英文话剧） A Tale of The Journey To The West Once there was true love for me, but I did not treasure it. Now it’s too late to regret. Nothing in the world can be more painful than that. If only time could go back, if only God could give me one more chance, I would say to the girl: “I love you.” If you dare ask me how long my love will last, my answer will be at least 10,000 years. 孙悟空 Monkey ( M for short ) 白骨精 Jenny White ( J for short ) 唐僧 Tang Seng ( T for short ) 黄袍怪 Yellow ( Y for short ) 沙僧 Sha Seng ( S for short ) 猪八戒 Piggy ( P for short ) 观音 Guan Yin ( G for short ) 小妖 Mini Monster ( A B C D ) Act 1 J 照着镜子上台，后面跟着一个小妖B手捧一盒化装品，如Clean &Clear等 J: Another pimple! All these lotion and cream and gel are of no use. What can I do? 这时4，电话铃不知趣地响了起来，J不耐烦地从B手中接过听筒，于是，一个更另她心烦的声音就在电话那头响起。 Y: Hello! It’s me. J: I know it’s you. You’ve been calling me every day since 400 years ago. Y: And today, I’ll ask the same question again. This is the 99th time I ask you to marry me.

搞笑版英语话剧剧本

Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）： Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming. 太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”! 阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ （作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world. 太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me? 荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right. 荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? （鄙人找不到后半部分，特来求救） 提问者： 冰魄の影魂 - 初级魔法师 三级 答复 共 3 条 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now! 阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! 阿三：What? What’s the TCM? 荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China. 荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight. 阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗…… （《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. 太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah! Action Ш （《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后. 阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby. （太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》) 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. 妻子:"I promise." 荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." （荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.

求一个搞笑的英语话剧剧本，最好有中英文对照。

是谁把10086服务小姐逼成这样的？？？？10086服务台小姐：先生晚上好，请问有什么可以帮你的吗？ 外轨：shouji没电了，自动关机了，请问现在几点了？ 10086服务台小姐：（晕）那先生您怎么给我打的。 外轨：我的shouji自动关机一样可以拨打dianhua，只是看不到时间。。 10086服务台小姐：（晕）先生现在是凌晨2点25分？请问还有什么可以帮你的吗？ 外轨：哦 ！这么晚了你怎么还不睡觉. 10086服务台小姐：（晕）对不起先生，这是我的工作，请问你还有什么事吗？ 外轨：没事就不可以打dianhua了吗？ 10086服务台小姐：对不起先生，我不是这个意思。 外轨：为什么给你们打dianhua是免费的？为什么给其他人打dianhua是收费的？ 10086服务台小姐：先生。。这是我们对顾客的一种高质量服务，我们本着顾客是上帝的宗旨，所以打我们客服dianhua是不需要收费的. 外轨：那上帝饿了.我把我家地址给你.你来我家给我做点吃的好不好.. 10086服务台小姐：先生对不起，我们没有这项服务。 外轨：你们对上帝的服务还挑三拣四吗？ 10086服务台小姐：先生对不起，我们只对客户提出的业务方面问题所做解答。请问现在还有什 么问题吗？ 外轨：我不是不讲理的人。这样你回答我3个问题，回答正确我就不纠缠你了。。 10086服务台小姐：（**）请您讲。 外轨：第一。万里长征一共走了多少里。 10086服务台小姐：2万5千里吧。 外轨：第二，参加人数多少人。 10086服务台小姐：8万6千人吧。 外轨：还懂点历史，最后一个问题，他们都叫什么名字？ 10086服务台小姐：................................................. 外轨：拒绝回答上帝的问题，我会投诉你的。 10086服务台小姐：对不起先生，我真的不知道。 外轨：这么简单的问题都回答不上来，你对工作的态度很不认真，而且还有抵触情绪。 10086服务台小姐：（哭）这。。这。。这个简单吗？这样吧先生。我也给你出3个问题，不知道有兴趣回答下吗？ 外轨：说来听听。 10086服务台小姐：2008年奥运会是在什么地方举行的！ 外轨：北京，下一个问题。 10086服务台小姐：那请问先生开幕式是几月几号？ 外轨：8月8号。如果下一个问题你敢问我开幕式时看台上所有人的姓名，我还会投诉你。 10086服务台小姐：（狂哭）先生把你的地址给我吧，我去给你做饭。。。。。。。。。 .////////

求一个搞笑的英语话剧剧本，最好有中英文对照

Text(正文): A Brother Like That A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car, Mister?" he said. Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish . . ." He hesitated. Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels. "I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother like that." Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?" "Oh yes, Id love that." After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?" Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car. "There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent. And some day Im gonna give you one just like it . . . then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been trying to tell you about." Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more blessed to give . . . " 内容： 哥哥的心愿 圣诞节时，保罗的哥哥送他一辆新车。圣诞节当天，保罗离开办公室时，一个男孩绕着那辆闪闪发亮的新车，十分赞叹地问： "先生，这是你的车？" 保罗点点头："这是我哥哥送给我的圣诞节礼物。"男孩满脸惊讶，支支吾吾地说："你是说这是你哥送的礼物，没花你一分钱？天哪，我真希望也能……" 保罗当然知道男孩他真想希望什么。他希望能有一个象那样的哥哥。但是小男孩接下来说的话却完全出乎了保罗的意料。 "我希望自己能成为送车给弟弟的哥哥。"男孩继续说。 保罗惊愕地看着那男孩，冲口而出地说："你要不要坐我的车去兜风？" "哦，当然好了，我太想坐了！" 车开了一小段路后，那孩子转过头来，眼睛闪闪发亮，对我说："先生，你能不能把车子开到我家门前？" 保罗微笑，他知道孩子想干什么。那男孩必定是要向邻居炫耀，让大家知道他坐了一部大轿车回家。但是这次保罗又猜错了。"你能不能把车子停在那两个台阶前？"男孩要求道。 男孩跑上了阶梯，过了一会儿保罗听到他回来了，但动作似乎有些缓慢。原来把他跛脚的弟弟带出来了，将他安置在第一个台阶上，紧紧地抱着他，指着那辆新车。 只听那男孩告诉弟弟："你看，这就是我刚才在楼上对你说的那辆新车。这是保罗他哥哥送给他的哦！将来我也会送给你一辆像这样的车，到那时候你就能自己去看那些在圣诞节时，挂窗口上的漂亮饰品了，就象我告诉过你的那样。" 保罗走下车子，把跛脚男孩抱到车子的前座。兴奋得满眼放光的哥哥也爬上车子，坐在弟弟的身旁。就这样他们三人开始一次令人难忘的假日兜风。 那个圣诞夜，保罗才真正体会主耶稣所说的"施比受更有福"的道理。

搞笑英语话剧剧本，急求，谢谢咯！

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） 本文来自: 恒星英语学习网( 详细出处参考： 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeisWuSong. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom? MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme, smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):Ican! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum? JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup? JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Neverinterruptme! L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken and…… JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)

急求搞笑英语话剧剧本

流亡者说:"不管你是谁,请可怜一下被通缉的人吧,他们正在悬赏捉我呢!" 山里人说:"悬赏多少?"